How to take Care of Your Marriage

A strong marriage isn’t built on grand gestures—it’s built in the small, intentional choices we make every day.

In the early days of a relationship, connection comes easily. The excitement, the long conversations, the spontaneous affection—it all happens naturally. But as time goes on, responsibilities pile up. Kids, work, stress, and exhaustion can make staying connected feel like one more thing on an already overwhelming to-do list.

The good news? You don’t need more time to strengthen your marriage—you just need to be intentional with the time you already have.

That’s where The Marriage Daily Five comes in.

What is the Marriage Daily Five?

The Marriage Daily Five is a simple, sustainable way to keep your marriage strong. It’s about choosing five small actions each day to connect with your spouse—actions that fit seamlessly into your real life, no matter how busy you are.

These aren’t grand romantic gestures. They’re the little moments that create warmth, trust, and emotional security in your relationship. Research from Dr. John Gottman shows that successful marriages have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions—which means for every one difficult moment, there should be five moments of connection to keep the relationship balanced.

How to Create Your Own Daily Five

Here’s how to start:

1️⃣ Choose Five Small, Intentional Actions

These should be simple, repeatable ways to show love and connection. Examples include:✔ A warm “good morning” with eye contact.✔ A quick text during the day to check in.✔ A thank-you for something they did.✔ A gentle touch on the shoulder in passing.✔ A smile when they walk into the room.

2️⃣ Make It a Habit

Your Daily Five should be woven into your normal routine—not something extra that adds stress. These moments take seconds, but over time, they create deep, lasting connection.

3️⃣ Tailor It to Your Marriage

Every relationship is different. Maybe your partner values words of affirmation more than physical touch. Maybe humor is your love language. The key is to find small actions that resonate with your spouse.

4️⃣ Focus on Consistency, Not Perfection

You won’t get it right every day, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to check off a list—it’s to be intentional about connection.

Examples of Marriage Daily Five Actions

Attention & Presence- Be fully present for one meaningful moment—no distractions. Pause to greet each other with warmth when walking in the door. Make intentional eye contact during conversations.

Physical & Emotional Intimacy- Give each other a six-second kiss (it feels long, but try it!). Hold hands or touch each other intentionally throughout the day. Send a flirty or affectionate text.

Communication & Connection- Share one thing you appreciate about your partner out loud. Ask, “How was your day?”—and really listen. Find a small way to lighten their load (take on a task, offer support).

 Play & Fun- Share a funny meme or inside joke. Watch a funny video or show together. Dance in the kitchen or do something playful just because.

Gratitude & Appreciation- Say “thank you” for something they do daily. Acknowledge their hard work—whether it’s parenting, work, or simply being there. Write a short note or text saying one thing you love about them.

Why the Daily Five Works

It’s sustainable. These actions are small but powerful—making them easy to do daily. It builds connection naturally. You don’t have to wait for “quality time”—you create it in the little moments. It shifts your focus. Instead of dwelling on what’s wrong, you start noticing what’s right.

Try It This Week!

For the next seven days, try choosing five small actions each day to feed your marriage. Be intentional. Be consistent. See what happens.

Your marriage is a living, breathing thing—and like anything alive, it needs nourishment. These small moments of care are what keep love thriving, even in the busiest seasons.

What’s one action you’ll add to your Daily Five today?